Crazed Teacups

What I Learned in This Month's Q

Q is a British music magazine that I practically read cover-to-cover. Here's what I learned in the July issue:

- Liam Gallagher can actually help, and not just cause, a breakdown. Richard Ashcroft of The Verve explains: "In January I was onstage at the Electric Ballroom in London and I had a complete mental breakdown trying to remember the words to "The Drugs Don't Work." After four attempts I dropped to me knees and he got onstage and picked me up and told the crowd, 'You know the words, you sing it.'"

- James Blunt's ancestors were Vikings who landed in Flanders and became royalty, then landed in England with the Normans in 1066. Carrie Fisher wrote his official online bio.

- Danger Mouse, who produced Demon Days for Gorillaz (among about a hundred other cool things he's done), is now working on an "African-influenced project" with Damon Albarn.

- Q asks readers which of the following best describes Mick Jagger's onstage moves: A- "Look left. Look right. When it's safe to proceed, cross the road in a rather haughty manner." B-"Ooh, you are awful... but I like you." C- "How did you lot get in here? You nearly gave me a heart attack." D- "Christ, I'm fit, aren't I? Beat that, sonny!" And E- "Ole!"

- Jaz Coleman of apocalyptic punk band Killing Joke had mastered the violin by the age of six, was a prize-winning chorister by the age of 10, and never heard a rock record until he was 15. He was resident composer for the Auckland Philharmonia in the 90s and is now composer in residence for the Prague Symphony Orchestra. In the 80s, he moved to Iceland, where he "met some locals attempting to build a machine which, they hoped, would harness the psychic energy of crowds. These people were in a band called Theyr. Among their number was a certain Bjork." He now lives part-time in an island off New Zealand, where he "has been making plans for global eco-industrial meltdown for years." The last time he fought with his bandmate over tour commitments, Jaz bit a chunk out of his bandmate's leg.

What I Learned in This Month's Q

Q is a British music magazine that I practically read cover-to-cover. Here's what I learned in the June issue:

- Donita Sparks, former vocalist for 90s band L7, has been working on "an instrumental score for a movie about Charles Nelson Reilly." In the early days, bassist Jennifer Finch used to play with Nirvana one week then work as a stripper with Courtney Love the next. She's also a photographer and says she has 1000s of photos from the grunge era, and she's going to write up a good will "so after I'm gone someone will be able to print the [photos] of Kurt holding guns and Courtney shooting up." Now she's in a band called The Shocker and does web design on the side.

- Fight Club author and Portlander Chuck Palahniuk's father was murdered in 1999.

- A-Ha has had 63 number 1s in 27 countries, sold 30 million albums, and set the Guinness Record for the largest gig with 196,000 people paying to see them in Rio. "Take On Me" failed to chart three times, but on the fourth time, went to number 1 in 12 countries. Lead singer Morten Harket was a theology major, and the three bandmates were sons of doctors, academics and chemists.

What I Learned in This Month's Q

Q is a British music magazine that I practically read cover-to-cover. Here's what I learned in the May issue:

- Guess who recently had dinner at Henry "The Fonz" Winkler's house? Morrissey! Henry Winkler's stepson is Morrissey's tour manager.

- Neil Tennant of The Pet Shop Boys (who is 51, if you can believe) was an art books editor when he met Chris Lowe, an architecture student. Tennant was in NYC to review The Police for Smash Hits magazine (remember that?) when he gave a demo to a producer and got a record deal. Oh, and Tennant went to the same grammar school as Sting.

- Red Hot Chili Pepper Anthony Kiedis's left eye socket was "rebuilt with titanium and Teflon after he drunk-drove his mother's station wagon into an elm tree at 90mph." When Kiedis was growing up, Cher was his babysitter and Sonny Bono was a father figure. And bandmate Flea has built and funded the 600-pupil Silverlake Conservatory of Music in East LA, which he occasionally teaches at.

What I Learned in This Month's Q

Q is a British music magazine that I practically read cover-to-cover. Here's what I learned in the April issue:

- You could buy one of Devo's plant pot hats, which used to belong to Mark Mothersbaugh, for $199 or more on eBay in the U.K.

- There's more to Aerosmith's Joe Perry than you might think. He's currently reading The Kite Runner, and says, "In America, the regular media gives us a slanted view of the world so I try to read as much as possible and get my news from as many different places as I can. I read the New York Times and watch BBC America's news coverage for a balanced view. I'm trying to get Al Jazeera here, but it's really hard."

- The last time David was in town, I showed him my gloves with holes worn through the tips of the fingers. I told him they're my iPod gloves - I can keep my gloves on but still change songs. He said no, iPod gloves would have to be tricked out with special tips on the fingers and such. Well, his prophecy has come to pass. Gold-tipped iPod gloves are featured in Q's gadgets section for £20.

- In this famous photo, John Lennon is shown playing at a 1957 church fete with The Quarrymen. This is the day that Lennon met Paul McCartney. As an interesting aside, the kid standing 3rd or 4th from right (in profile) is Peter Radcliffe, the father of current marathon world record-holder Paula Radcliffe.

- The best part of Radiohead's "Creep" is an accident. Writes Q: "Ironically, Creep's most memorable moment was a deliberate act of sabotage. Lead guitarist Jonny Greenwood hated the song and sulkily stamped on his effects pedal in the build-up to the chorus. The result was a belligerent stutter of noise. 'The guitar clunk is Jonny trying to fuck it up,' says guitarist Ed O'Brien. 'He really didn't like it, so he tried spoiling it. But it made the song.'"

- There's an awesome photo of Ian Brown of the Stone Roses talking to the Reverend Run from Run-DMC, and Run is doing some air guitar. Of the photo, Ian Brown says, "Run-DMC sampled us in 1990. I see him last year, go up and say, Reverend, you might not know me, but... and he immediately does the 'Fools Gold' riff. Genius!"

- When Kanye West's mother (a former head of the English department at Chicago State University) was made visiting professor in Nanchang China, Kanye went along. Q says: "A lot of Chinese people he met had never seen a black person before. 'People were coming up to me and rubbing my skin, thinking it would rub off,' he says. 'It got me used to being famous. Everywhere I went people would look at me and that is exactly how it is now.'" He also says that he got more flack from people by saying that the hip-hop world discriminated against gay people than he did for his comments against Bush. He says the reason for this lies deep in black culture. "After black men wake up in the morning, everything they do is to prove their manhood because they are treated like lesser men to start off with," he explains. "We over-compensate for that. That is what rap is."

What I Learned in This Month's Q

Q is a British music magazine that I practically read cover-to-cover. Here's what I learned in the February issue:

- Courtney Love has sold a quarter of her shares in the Nirvana estate (about $130 million worth) to... Martha Stewart.

- Courtney was also the lead singer of now-defunct (thank God) Faith No More for a short time in the 80s.

- Faith No More's guitarist, (ahem) Big Sick Ugly Jim Martin, left the band and got into growing very large pumpkins as a hobby. His largest one was 1083.5 lbs. He says, "Any idiot can be in a band. Only a handful of guys can grow giant pumpkins."

- The Clash's Joe Strummer was an avid runner who ran the 1983 and 1985 marathons. (His best time was 4 hrs and 30 mins.) Anyone taking bets that that wasn't water or gatorade he was drinking on the course?

- When preparing to record "Walk This Way", Run and DMC had a hard time deciphering Steven Tyler's lyrics to the original song, which was a hit in the mid-70s. "Run was singing, 'Hey diddle diddle with the titty in the middle'," says Tyler. "I say, No, no - it's 'the kitty in the middle.' Get some paper and I'll write it out."

- In 1988, Bono met Johnny Cash for the first time for dinner, and "after saying grace Cash had told him, 'I sure do miss those drugs.'"

- Richard Ashcroft (formerly lead singer for The Verve) said of Live 8, where he performed "Bittersweet Symphony" with Chris Martin, "I saw people backstage swigging champagne and scoffing whole crabs... Isn't that a bit wrong?"

- Radiohead's OK Computer was recorded at an Elizabethan manor owned by actress Jane Seymour.

- Tommy Lee's mom was Miss Greece. Unrelated, he also loved jail. "Just total peace and quiet," he said.

December Q

What I learned in the December issue of Q:

- Morrissey is working on a new CD called Ringleader of the Tormentors. They say, "Old misery guts has bizarrely elected to record the follow-up [to You Are the Quarry] in the catacombs of an ancient church in Rome."

- The president of Turkmenistan has outlawed lip-syncing to "protect the musical and singing traditions of the Turkmen people."

- Chuck Berry was one of the performers at Bill Clinton's inaugural gala, but his appearance almost fell through. Berry "refused to go onstage unless organizers rustled up a Chinese meal especially for him."

- Alice Cooper bought the third "O" in the Hollywood sign in 1978 for $27,700. The sign was crumbling, so Hugh Hefner asked his friends to put up some money for a replacement. Cooper dedicated the "O" to Groucho Marx.

- Foo Fighter Dave Grohl has a bookcase that "holds a few MTV awards, five Grammys - four for the Foo Fighters, one for Nirvana - and two bowling trophies (Best Style and Team High Score) won at a friend's 40th birthday party."

- While hosting the Q music awards last month, Jonathan Ross said, "This year Pete Doherty, Kate Moss and Mick Jones, of course from The Clash, were all caught taking cocaine...It's always the ones you least expect, isn't it?" (He also said, "We've got the biggest names in music gathered together. It's like Live 8, without those 140,000 losers staring at you.")

- Damon Albarn, self-important asshole but also the brains behind Gorillaz, Blur and Mali Music, is recording a solo album with Danger Mouse.

- Simply Red's Mick Hucknall has sold 40 million - 40 million - albums worldwide. (His last album, Home, sold 2.7 million copies. Who the fuck is buying that?) He also releases albums on simplyred.com with minimal overheads, part-owns a restaurant in Paris, "co-funds a small reggae label called Blood & Fire, has recently acquired a vineyard in Sicily, and a salmon-stuffed river in County Donegal, Northern Ireland." He has also "purportedly bedded, among many others, Hollywood star Catherine Zeta-Jones... and Steffi Graf." Mick. Hucknall. And the interview makes him sound like a total asshole.

- In their concert rider, Stereophonics demands, among many other things, "1 ass-shaped pinata filled with Cuban cigars and dark chocolate Cacique rum liquers, 1 box of indoor fireworks and 1 local strippergram."

November Q

What I learned in the November issue of Q, a British music magaine:

- $572 is how much former "INXS frontman Michael Hutchence had in his band account at the time of his death, according to his family."

- Remember Madness ("Our house, in the middle of our street" - that Madness)? They had 20 top 20 singles in a row in England. (I'm assuming that was in the 80s.)

- Film director Guy Ritchie (aka Mr. Madonna) said, "Do I listen to the wife's music? Do I have a choice? I'm not your typical Madonna fan, but I like to think she values my opinion - although I'm not sure she does."

- Nick Mason, drummer for Pink Floyd, holds the record for baking the world's biggest crumpet. The record was devised as a way of promoting the AeroSuperBatics, "Europe's only professional wing-walking team", a team that was sponsored by a margarine company. Mason was a part-owner of the private airfield that was the HQ for the AeroSuperBatics, and added flour and stirred the batter throughout the day. The batter was mixed onsite in 201 plastic buckets.

- The guitarist for Pavement has gone back to school to get his Urban Planning degree, the percussionist is in the horse-racing business, the bassist makes "food that gets photographed for cooking magazines", and the drummer "moved to Virginia and trained as a stone mason."

- Booker T & The MG's had a 1970 album called McLemore Avenue that was an instrumental track-by-track cover of Abbey Road.

- James Blunt, a musician and sudden superstar in England, was a captain in the British Army who led a column of 30,000 peace-keeping troops into Kosovo and later "was one of the Queen's mounted bodyguards and protected the Queen Mother's coffin while she lay in state in Westminster Abbey." He's 28.

- John Lennon's last breakfast was at Cafe La Fortuna, which is a cafe that my friend David and I always went to after going to an event at Lincoln Center.